One day, you’re their everything. The next, they’re rolling their eyes at your jokes and asking you to drop them off a block away from school.
Sound familiar?
If you're wondering when your little sidekick became a part-time stranger, you're not alone. This shift — this pulling away — can feel like a gut-punch. You’ve spent years being their go-to, their hero, their safe space. And now? You’re lucky to get a high-five. Anyone been asked to not drop them off by the school gate yet?
And let’s be honest — if eye-rolling burned calories, Tweens would be elite athletes by now.
But here’s what we want you to know:
This is not rejection. It’s rehearsal.
Your Tween is practicing becoming their own person — and that includes learning how to stand a little apart from you. It’s not always graceful (or quiet), but it is developmentally right on time.
This Isn’t Just Your Tween — It’s All of Them
Tweens everywhere are navigating the same inner storm:
“Who am I if I’m not just someone’s child?”
“Where do I belong if I don’t always want to be home?”
It’s part of a normal — even healthy — process. They begin looking outward, measuring themselves against peers, not parents. It can sting, sure. But it’s not about pushing you out; it’s about pulling themselves forward.
And here’s something else we want you to hold on to:
Nothing you’ve taught them is wasted.
Even when they act like they know everything, even when they roll their eyes at your reminders — those lessons, those values, those shared moments? They stay. They’re tucked away, waiting for the moments when your voice becomes their inner compass.
Yes, they may believe they’re older than they are. And yes — we can see around the corners they haven’t yet discovered. But it’s not personal. And you are definitely not alone.
Some Tweens do this earlier. Others, much later. Some subtly, some dramatically. But almost every parent of a Tween will feel this shift, in one form or another.
👉 So if there’s one message we want to leave you with today, it’s this: You are not alone.
What the Experts Say
“Around ages 9–12, children start developing autonomy and their peer group becomes central to how they understand themselves,”
— Dr. Lisa Damour, author of Untangled
In other words, it’s not personal. It’s developmental.
When they choose their friends over family time or suddenly seem allergic to affection, they’re not abandoning you. They’re growing up, and they’re doing it in the safest place they know: with you as their anchor.
What You Can Do (and Not Do)
🟡 Let them stretch — Give them room to explore their independence. Even if that means letting go of certain traditions (for now).
🟡 Stay steady and available — They still need you, even when they act like they don’t. Be the soft place to land.
🟡 Don't take the distance personally — Yes, it’s hard. But your consistency — your quiet, unshakable love — is what gives them the confidence to test their wings.
Here’s the Hopeful Truth
They may not want bedtime stories anymore. They may cringe at your dance moves and dodge your hugs in public. But they are still watching, listening, learning — and leaning on the foundation you’ve built.
This distance?
It’s not the end of closeness. It’s the beginning of becoming.
💛 Tweenology
